It’s been over 4 years since I felt the ship sink from under me. It’s been 3 years since I started this blog. In these years, I have questioned a lot, cried a lot, talked a lot, meditated and prayed a lot, read a lot, sought my spirit a lot, walked in nature a lot. It’s not like I’ve not tried. I have. Still, some days I believe, most days I don’t.
Some things I am certain of. As I’ve said before, I still find magic and spirit in the natural world and the animal kingdom. Deity in any form remains shrouded in mist and uncertainty.
I have no faith.
Tomorrow is the Autumn Equinox and as I contemplated this turning point in the year, I thought about Goddess and my vows as a priestess. I gave my life to her, in service to her. But as I thought about it this morning, I thought that perhaps the most important vow I can make now is to myself. I still think of myself as a Priestess of the Goddess, only the Goddess is me.
I’m not sure where my path is going at present. Life is transitioning at the moment so my focus is on survival. Maybe one day I will figure it out again and find renewed faith. For now, I simply take a simple pleasure in the shifting season.